


I Didn’t Know

by Vanilla_Phoenix



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Klansgt, Lance Needs a Hug, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Supportive Space Boyfriends, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 18:47:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanilla_Phoenix/pseuds/Vanilla_Phoenix
Summary: Based off a Tumblr prompt:Keith hears Lance talking on the phone and can’t help but suspect the worst





	I Didn’t Know

Locking the door behind him, Keith threw his jacket onto the couch in his apartment. For once, it was eerily quiet inside and Keith frowned, glancing around the space. It wasn't very dark outside yet and Lance didn't usually fall asleep that early. He padded around the apartment in his socks, finding nothing before before reaching the bedroom. Laying a hand on the already ajar door to push it open, Keith paused when he heard a voice inside.

"Hey, it's Lance again." A weird feeling settled in Keith's chest. He debated walking inside, but decided to listen for another moment. "No, I would say it hasn't been long enough," his boyfriend chuckled. Keith strained his ear to hear even a slight whisper of the other person's voice, no matter how garbled with static it might be. "Yeah, well, I just wanted to ask about the place you mentioned last time? I might head down there, but I don't know. You sure the people who work there know their stuff?"

Keith swallowed hard, pulling away from the door. That strange feeling was starting to sink into his stomach as his mind ran wild with possibilities. He quickly snuck into the kitchen, planning to pick up the other phone to hear the conversation. However, as he grabbed the phone, he hesitated before actually picking it up. If this was what he thought it was, Keith still wasn't sure if this was something he really wanted to hear. Gritting his teeth, he finally took the kitchen phone off of its charger and brought it to his ear. He froze as the conversation suddenly stopped. After a pause, he heard a voice.

"Lance, are you still there?" Keith's knuckles turned white as he gripped the countertop. The voice was beautiful and silky, a clearly female voice with a slight British accent. It actually angered Keith how beautiful she sounded.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. My phone has some patchy connections at points," Keith heard Lance respond, his voice a little crackly from the phone audio. "Well, I just wanted to say thank you for listening to me, although I'm sure that can't ever get tiring."

The woman sighed, but she didn’t sound annoyed. "Lance, don't worry about trying to be confident when talking to me, ok? There's no judgement here."

"Heh, I know, I really appreciate that." Keith felt his blood start to boil with jealousy. He had never heard Lance talk like this before. You'd think after dating someone for a whole year that you'd understand them, but well, Keith wasn't so sure now.

"I'm glad. Please don't hesitate to call again, alright? If you ever need-"

"I know. Thanks again."

"Take care, Lance. If you stop by the office at all and want to chat in person if that's better for you, please do come in." Keith reflexively put a hand across his mouth as his breathing became more rapid, trying not to make any noise to alert them to his presence.

"I might. Have a good night."

"Yes, you too," the woman replied before the click of the line ended the call. Keith's shock had now completely bubbled over into anger. He shoved his shaking hands into his pockets, completely at a loss for words. If this was really what he thought it was, he would be a wreck. Scratch that, he was already a wreck. Keith's racing imagination struggled to find a positive explanation. Maybe it was a business call? An old friend? Some sort of customer service employee? It sounded too intimate, too personal for Keith's liking and now his head was swimming with visions of Lance in someone else's arms, someone else's bed. The very thought made him seethe and he paced back and forth, still unsure of what to do. He gazed off in the direction of the bedroom, listening to the silence of their shared apartment. Finally making up his mind, he strolled over to the bedroom and swung the door wide open without knocking. Lance was sitting on the opposite end of the bed with his back facing the door and he whirled around at the sound. His hair was wild and messy and he wore his regular blue and white shirt and an old pair of boxers.

"Hey babe," he smiled, moving to stand up. "How was-"

"Who was that?"

Lance's smile faltered, but he recovered very quickly. "Who was what?"

"On the phone." Keith noticed his hands had already balled into fists and he put them back in his pockets. "I heard someone."

"Oh, its no one," Lance waved it off, stretching his arms. "Just a wrong number."

"Uh huh? Well 'Hey, it's Lance again' didn't sound like a wrong number to me!" His voice rising, Keith took a step closer. Looking into Lance's eyes, he could see a bit of panic behind his charisma.

"Keith seriously, it's nothing." Lance's voice wavered as he stood up.

Keith scowled, marching up to him. "Cut the bullshit, Lance! It's clearly not just nothing!" He could almost swear that Lance was paler, his eyes becoming wider and wider. If Keith didn't know any better, he'd say Lance was on the verge of tears. "Are we at the point where we lie to each other, asshole? Where we sneak around each other's backs?" Lance's eyes glanced over to the phone lying on the bed, but Keith was faster. He grabbed it and hit the redial button faster than Lance could speak.

"Keith," Lance finally managed, but Keith silenced him with a single look. He glared right at Lance as the phone rang once, twice, before a woman answered, but a different voice than the one before.

"Hello, suicide hotline."

Keith couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel anything. Every inch of his body was numb as the woman repeated her words.  
"Hello, you've reached the suicide hotline. Is everything alright?"

"Uh, wrong number," Keith choked out before hanging up and tossing the phone back onto the bed. He was shaking, unable to even form a coherent thought.

"Keith," Lance started, his voice barely a whisper. Without another word, Keith surged forwards and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Lance hesitated before letting himself go, heavy in Keith's arms. Hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, Keith clung to Lance desperately, as if he was going to be yanked away at any moment.

"I'm a goddamn idiot," he admitted, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry." Lance said nothing, but Keith heard a faint sniffle over his shoulder. He finally pulled away, letting their foreheads rest against each other before gently intertwining their fingers. "Come on," he whispered, pulling Lance along until they were both sat on the bed. "Ok," Keith breathed out, turning to face him. His hands shook and his chest felt even more numb as he saw the redness in Lance's eyes and all other colour draining from his face. "Let's-" Keith stopped, fighting back a few tears. He took a deep breath, still holding onto Lance's hand. "We should talk about this," he said, his voice shaking.

"Yeah," Lance agreed, his eyes downcast.

Keith's heart sank at his words. His voice sounded so fragile. Keith was almost afraid that if he squeezed his hand too hard, he would shatter. "So...how long has this been happening?"

Lance swallowed, gripping his hand tighter. "Probably about six months or so. I don't remember exactly when, but I don't know, I just started feeling..." He paused, rubbing at his eyes and Keith shifted closer. "Feeling kind of down. Like I didn't matter, or no one would care whether or not I existed. That the world would be so much better if I just wasn't here. Some things would make me feel better, but I would always fall back into it."

"Lance..." Keith whispered, at a loss for anything else to say. He put a hand on Lance's shoulder and he looked up, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. Suddenly, he just leaned forwards to hug Keith again, who immediately embraced him back. Lance shook as he let loose, sobbing and gasping as Keith gently stroked his hair. Keith felt his own tears stinging his eyes and he tucked his face into the crook of Lance's shoulder. As soon as the crying started to subside, Keith pulled away slightly so he could gently and slowly place loving kisses all over his face. As Lance let out one more sigh, Keith pressed one last peck to his lips before looking expectantly up at him.

"So I've been..." Voice breaking, Lance sniffled once as he continued. "I called that number during one of the really bad days, and it helped quite a bit so I've... um, called them quite a few times."

There was a pause as they both just sat there, listening to the sound of the other's breathing, before Keith spoke up. "Was it something I did, that started this whole thing? Something that I said that-"

"No Keith, god no," Lance said quickly, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. "It wasn't even a something that started it, it just...crept up on me, you know?" Lance gave him a sad smile. "Honestly, you helped keep me afloat through all this stuff. You are one of the biggest lights in my life and I love you so much for that."

Keith bit his lip, his vision becoming blurry. "Then why didn't you tell me about any of this?"

Lance swallowed hard, his fingers grasping the bedsheets. "I just...I don't know. It's hard to talk to people about this stuff sometimes." He gave a weak chuckle, looking down at his hands. "Makes me feel like even more of a failure, you know?" The tears finally rolled down Keith's cheeks as he took Lance's face in his hands and kissed him slowly. Lance sighed and wrapped his arms around him, practically pulling Keith into his lap. When they broke apart, Keith took both of Lance's hands in his own.

"Lance," he said quietly. "Lance, look at me." The boy's eyes drifted back up and Keith stared right into them. "You are not a failure," he told him firmly. "Any person who is a friend of yours is goddamn lucky to have you, and they know it too. If you asked Hunk, Pidge, Allura, you name it, they all love you. Your smile lights up the room and believe it or not, some of your jokes really do make us laugh. You're so special to us, Lance, and If you were gone, every one of us would be devastated. I-" he rambled, pausing to wipe a tear away with the heel of his hand. "I would be devastated. I can't even describe how I would feel if you were taken from me. I would walk through fire for you, Lance, even if you were the one who set it." Keith took a shaky breath before looking back at Lance, his eyes widening as he just kept listening. "I love you so much," he murmured, resting his forehead against Lance's. "And the fact that you don't see all these amazing things about you, that you don't love yourself as much as I do, is terrifying." Pulling back slightly, he made sure that Lance looked right at him as he continued. "Are you going to get professional help for this?"

"Uh...I mean probably," Lance replied, looking somewhat stunned. "I've given about two weeks with not much change, so yeah, I might check in with my old psychiatrist."

"Good." Keith took his hand again, gently running a thumb over his knuckles. "So if there's anything at all that I can do to help, you have to let me know. If there's something you need to talk about it I'm always here." He leaned forwards, planting soft kisses around Lance's face. "If you're having a terrible day," he mumbled between kisses, "and you need something to cheer up, we can watch every trashy rom com and listen to as much terrible music as you want."

Letting out a full laugh, Lance gently shoved him off. "Couldn't resist another jab at my superb taste, could you, Mullet?"

"Of course not," Keith replied, flopping down onto the bed in defeat. The bed springs creaked and Keith didn't even have to look over to know that Lance had crawled next to him.

"Hey." Looking over, Keith found himself face to face with Lance, who gave him a wide smile. "Thank you, Keith, I really appreciate all of that. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I love you to the fucking moon and back."

Keith smiled back, reaching forwards to brush the remnants of the tears from his face. "I love you too, you dork."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for reading!  
> Just a reminder here that mental illness/suicide is a serious issue. It’s not romantic, it’s not a joke, it’s terribly painful and hurts everyone involved.  
> If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please do contact the suicide hotline or care centre in your region. If you can’t do that, than tell someone. A teacher, a parent, a friend: if they can’t help, at least they’ll listen and direct you to someone who can.  
> If there’s really no one, comment or message me! I may not be medically qualified to help, but I will listen.  
> Thank you, lovelies, stay safe and be strong. Have a wonderful day!  
> -Phoenix


End file.
